This Is Not Us.

I was sitting in Kuala Terengganu airport when I read about the protest in Shah Alam. I skimmed through the article quickly. When it was mentioned that a cows’ head had been brought along, I assumed that it was a figure of a cows head. I even went so far to think “that could be a construed as a respectful gesture”. It did not even cross my mind that this type of behaviour was possible in a society such as ours. Perhaps I’m not that bright, or maybe naïve, but either way it would have been nice to have remained that way a little longer.

I landed in KL, and was told by my dad that it was a severed cows’ head. I remained disbelieving till I watched it for myself. Even then I remained numb, not reacting, waiting to see what ensued from this incident.

I was amused when I saw Malaysiakinis headlines were ‘“Don’t blame cowhead protestors” says Hisham’, and the Star blared the headlines ‘“Charge them” says Hisham’. All from the same press conference. Bilateral Bias at its best.

So I watched it myself. That way I could form my own opinion on what he was trying to say. All this benefit-of-the-doubt-giving to a man who has sorely disappointed and offended us all in the past.

Neither of the headlines was what I took away from the press conference. The most striking thing, for me, was when he said

“the organizers, who are sitting on the left and right of me…”

He was sitting with them. How much more of a show of solidarity do you need. A clear message. You who march peacefully, we will teargas and arrest you, child or man. You, who exhibit violence and cruelty as you march, we will sit amongst you, and find a solution.

He sat side-by-side with the leaders of the protest, told us they were ignorant of the cow’s head, told us they simply wanted their opinion heard. He said that bringing the cow’s head was “sensitif’. What does that even mean anymore? Some things are just plain wrong, cruel, disrespectful. Step up, and SAY IT.

Malaysiakini has been asked to take it down because it is provocative. The video is not provocative, the man who is speaking at the press conference is. Aren’t the public the known audience of a press conference. He was speaking to be heard.

The numbness has worn off.

Being hindu, I was hurt. Being Malaysian, I was mortified. Being human, I was disgusted.
The racism, the animal cruelty, the disregard and disrespect of religion, the double standards, the politicians who do not understand the depth of our protests…

This is not us. Not for one minute do I believe this is Malaysia.

We are muslims who rush to a temple to show their solidarity with their hindu brothers and sisters. http://harismibrahim.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/the-beautiful-malay/ We are academics and professionals who have spent hours of our lives working towards a better Malaysia http://thenutgraph.com, http://www.othermalaysia.org/, http://malikimtiaz.blogspot.com/. We are patriots who are now forced to live away from our homeland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5pbZNCjoQE. We are gay men and women, and transsexuals, empowered to celebrate our sexuality http://star-ecentral.com/services/sprinterfriendly.asp?file=/2009/8/23/soundnstage/4563501&sec=soundnstage

We are passionate young men and women who write, direct, and create art in the name of learning who we were, who we are, and who we can become. http://15malaysia.com/, http://10tahun.blogspot.com/

We are pretty awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r27Fbx4Crg8\

This is not us.

undisputed

it moves me to poetry
my misunderstood malaysia
the mist among the highlands
i never needed to know where it came from
if i have to leavei want to take with me, a piece
a piece, of undisputed belonging
we will be inseperable
leading each other home
i remember how the grey and white
of the early morning
turned into the greens of the day
but the mist remained
it was always there- still, constant, undisputed.

Rainbow Massacre

Like many Annexy (or Annexy Sexy, as one of tonights shows co-hosts put it) events, I had no idea what I was in for when I booked my tickets for Rainbow Massacre. And once again, I was invigorated and impressed with the talent we have in our country.

To begin with the co-hosts were funny and spontaneous, with their own brand of sophistication (and I need this, being the hippie-yuppie I am). The acts ranged from Bohemian Rhapsody to original songs by Malaysian artists, all surrounding the theme of liberation, being comfortable with oneself, and being able to be comfortable with oneself. Again our young Malaysians impressed me with their combination of comedic and musical talents, all the while in regards to a serious and relevant topic.

My favourite part of the night was at the end when we all were given the lyrics to Sejahtera Malaysia and asked to sing along. One friend of mine agreed that we have never felt so moved by the song. I was surprised that such a mainstream song was chosen, but I understood later that we needed something we all had in common, and in such a diverse crowd (in so many ways) we really only had one thing for sure. Being Malaysian.To quote Sheila, one of the co-hosts “1Malaysia, 2Malaysia, 3Malaysia, its better than no Malaysia!”

I have a particular attachment to the song. Before I left to study in Australia, I remember listening to it and thinking about my beautiful, perfect, multicultural country and melodramatically crying at the thought of leaving. As I grew up and read more, my perfect world soon started to fall down around me. I realized I had just bought into the whole farce, and the layers underneath were complex and unjust. Tonight as we all sang together, truly regardless of race, religion, and sexuality, I felt I got a very real piece of my perfect world back.

Dancing Depur

The drumming didn’t cease
Even though the party was over
We carried it in our hearts
The next day

We felt the lightness of their feet
And the steadiness of their song
As they wished us well
And thanked us grandly

We felt but tried not to feel
The sadness in their eyes,
The pain in their limbs,
And the burning in their hearts.

Poverty poetry aka the National Poverty Summit

Malaysia now,
Is certainly not bereft
Of issues so sordid
As sex scandals,
Corruption and theft

That I was happy to see
That amidst all this s**T
ASLI and CPPS
Held the National Poverty Summit

4 stunning chandeliers,
Hung above a photo
Of a poor woman, child on her lap
A perfect reflection
Of the income gap

Despite that
Real issues were to be discussed
With politicos and the like
And we were all waiting for
The PM to wield the mike

Badawi strode up, smiley and warm
Who would’ve guessed, miles away
A No Confidence vote
Was causing a storm!

“Urban poverty is
Rural povertys reflection”
He spoke of strategies
Headed in the right direction

E-Kasih! Microcredit! Zakat!
Health and education subsidies
He says he has put these in place
Perhaps the man is not such a disgrace

Sulochana Nair
Spoke of all things dire,
Well she didn’t as such,
I just couldn’t rhyme Nair with much.

She spoke with passion and haste
Of all the pain and issues faced
But was pragmatic, and sound
She thinks UN guidelines should be applied to the ground

Then came the MP from Seputeh
Man, shes cool.
Teresa Kok is, in herself,
An antipoverty tool.

Low cost housing provided too far away,
There is nowhere for the kids to play!
From this a healthy society can not grow
Indeed from the crime rate this does show

Next was Selangors new Mentri Besar
Who apologized for his poltical faux pas
His controversial immigrant tax, he says
Was misunderstoond in so many ways

He admitted he was wrong
Which in my mind, is strong
We need more politicians like Khalid Ibrahim
But looking around right now, chances of that
Are certainly grim

There were many others of note,
Dr Ng Yen Yen, I can see how why she got the vote
Walao! The way she described it
Malaysians really deserve more credit

The statistics of which she announced
Were based on definitions already denounced
We cannot be proud
Till we have healthcare and education all round

One thing was missed
Refugees left out of the list
How do we expect to prevent the urban poverty rise
If a large part of them nobody will even recognise?

There was many wise words,
and a few foolish turds
But it was heartening to see live discussion
To see in the audience true passion,
In working towards the end of poverty
Because only then,
we will be truly free.



The above are all those that stood out for me personally, and in no means sums up and shows the most pertinent parts of the summit. It was by the way, well organised and very interesting! And unlike what is going on in most headlines of most newspapers, MSM and otherwise, these are key issues for our country. CPPS/ASLI has done a fabulous job of putting together a poverty fact sheet, a summary of the summit, and the reforms already in place, and those reforms suggested! Its FANTASTIC!

(http://www.cpps.org.my/sub_page.aspx?catID=398&ddlID=401)

I recommend the presentations on the low cost housing. Fascinating!

As Jeffrey Sachs (my favourite economist) says

"We can be the generation to end poverty, but will we?"

Slavery in Malaysia?

June 20th was International Refugees Day- and I received many articles/reports on the state and treatment of refugees in Malaysia. A few things stood out, although upon a background of more chronically terrible facts.

The first thing that took me aback was that there was a survey, that had been commissioned by USCRI (the US Committee for Refugees and Immigrants) that had Malaysia in the TOP TEN WORST COUNTRIES in terms of violation of refugee (hence human) rights. You know who else was in this prestigious list?

Iraq. Sudan. Bangladesh.

These are the countries people are seeking refugee FROM?! I am so ashamed. I thought Australia was bad (and it is) with their treatment of refugees. I should have looked closer to home.

Things became worse as we read on. One of these violations that earned us such a honoured spot was that Malaysian officials turned these refugees directly over to human smugglers. They then go on to either smuggle them back into Malaysia OR sell them into slavery to Thai fishing boats or brothels as sex workers.

Our fellow Malaysians are engaging in slavery.

I started reading up more on refugees in Malaysia. This issue is so incredibly complex, that trying to get one fact-filled, emotion-filled, exhaustive blog entry on it was impossible and not true to the aspects in question.

There are *&*6loads of other issues that are key, which range from the actual definition of refugee and asylum seeker, the importance of recognition, as well as how refugees are used as a political, religious and racial tool.

But for now, back to the slavery,

'Slavery is known as a system where certain persons are deprived of personal freedom and compelled to work. Slaves are held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase, or birth, and are deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to receive compensation in return for their labor.'

If anyone can point out the differences between this, and whats happening at the Malaysian-Thai border, please do.

Now before we say “but they are illegal immigrants” or “they are just looking for a better life”, or “what about our own problems” as we eat dinner with our family in the comfort of our homes, lets just pretend.

Lets pretend, that these truly are people seeking asylum, seeking refuge, trying to protect their families, trying to survive life. We not only turn them away at our doorstep, we not only pretend to look the other way, we actively sell them like products to a significantly worse life. A life where even their choice of freedom has led them to a prison.

I love this country. And I know we can do better.

Whats happening to refugees and asylum seekers here, and the consequences of that to society is a major issue. This is just the tip of the iceberg, to highlight how dire the situation is. Human rights is not some artsy fartsy left wing issue. Its almost all that matters. This is not something we can or should ignore any longer... so watch this space... theres so much more to come.

Proposal for a new DSM IV diagnosis

Disclaimer: I realize that this is a ridiculous notion, and I really don’t mean to insult anyone who have made the comments below. I also think that most of us are guilty of making such comments, and although I sound really self righteous in this, I know I’m guilty of this too. This just reflects my anger at some of these flippant comments. It’s a reminder to myself as well that most things happen as a result of consequence, likely caused by society itself.


Proposal for a new DSM IV diagnosis

For those of you who don’t know, the DSM IV is the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual, 4th edition. It is the book by the American Psychiatric Association, and it includes all psychiatric diagnoses and the criteria for these diagnoses.

In the past few months Ive heard many comments like “Homosexuality should be re-included in the DSM”, “the Australian government should not be sorry because they were well intentioned” (this person was referring to the Stolen Generation, and if you don’t know what this is then google or wiki it please), “sex workers deserve HIV/AIDs”. I’m sure everyone could add a few in they have heard, kan? Now this may because Ive left the comfort zone of my hippie, left wing, activist gang and have recently started work in a new place, but these words still came as a slap in the face.

Try to argue. You get called “sensitive, argumentative, idealistic”. Whatever people can think of, when they can’t think of logical arguments. I even had someone laugh in my face.

Anyway as I was walking back from hospital the other day, fuming as I had just heard someone recite the statistic that “8 out of 10 aboriginals – or I think the word native was used- in Australia, are either criminals, or drug/alcohol abusers”. After establishing that this was a statistic completely made up, perhaps from his myopic observations at Victoria Square in Adelaide, I started wondering.

Why do some people seem so narrow minded, and even if they are ignorant of the social problems that underlie some of these issues, why are they so unwilling to broaden their minds, listen and realise most problems are a result of marginalization of some sort.

Then I realized, I was doing the same thing. To these people who were making the comments. I wasn’t wondering WHY they said these things, I was just so angry that they did, and that they took nothing of logic into consideration. Then I tried to explore (in my head, anyway) the reasons that people are like this. Background, upbringing, exposure, education, all these things matter. Of course most of these people had similar background to me, but still there must have been some differences that affected the way we think

Im not saying im perfectly non-judgemental, and have a mind as open as a wicket behind an outlandishly confident batsman. We all have our moments, but the point is you try not to be. There is no point in being judgemental, it doesn’t solve any problem, and its such a headache trying to balance that halo on your head.

So back to my first paragraph – with the comment about homosexuality being reintroduced in to the DSM, I had an epiphany. Maybe narrow mindedness should be a psychiatric disorder, then I could possibly understand it better. The best thing about it would be that like all psychiatric disorders, it would become unfairly stigmatized!

Furcamentis (from the Latin Furca- Narrow, Mentis- Mind)

A. Presence of 2 or more of the following symptoms for more than 5 years continuously
- inability to accept alternative lifestyles, even though these are not affecting ones own life
- concrete thinking and fixed ideas although a logical and more humane explanation is available
- disordered argument process regarding controversial issues
- constant need to pipe up during an argument and profess opinions when no actual knowledge has previously been acquired

Note : Only one Criterion A symptom is required if the symptoms are racist or potentially exacerbating of the social problem underlying the argument

B. Social/Occupational dysfunction

For a significant amount of time, two or more people at work are offended or take issue with what is said. Interpersonal relations are strained as everyone thinks you are a bigot.

C. Duration

Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least 5 years. This must be during adulthood, when seemingly free from peer pressure, and ability to think for oneself is present.

D. Substance/General Medical Condition exclusion

The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition

E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by another psychiatric condition or a pervasive developmental Disorder

The fact that the name I came up resembles a certain expletive, was a mere but pleasurable coincidence.

I strongly believe that, although perhaps statement of opinion different from mine, does not a psychiatric diagnosis make :), that certain mentalities are detrimental to existing problems related to drug abuse, HIV/AIDs, racism and similar social issues. But perhaps these ideas (that are perceived wrong by me, which I understand doesn’t make them wrong per se) need to be challenged in a open minded manner themselves. Otherwise, change of attitude towards these issues will never happen, and I believe we need this for change for the better within these complex social matters.

A room with no bed

He lay on the floor,
And cried.
This old sick man.

I stood
And my heart broke
In a way its never done before

I knelt
And I held his hand
And he held mine

A Matter of Trust

Jen and I attended a forum today (shocked?)- called “Who Needs an Islamic State”. Now in our forum going euphoria we didn’t think twice. So we headed on our merry way. When we arrived we were greeted by two lovely ladies from the Muslims Professional Forum who welcomed us, and were excited that we were there. The excitement at these things is so infectious that we couldn’t help but be excited ourselves.

All speakers handled this quite sensitive, and very potentially controversial topic with grace. My favourite was Dr Dzulkz – he said “You must allow us to have our views, and follow our beliefs” As well as “I don’t use the term non-muslim, I prefer believers of other faiths". Hell yeah. The man is a star in my book.

Anyway, they all had their say, and my heart was filled with excitement for the understanding and open-mindedness that was going on in this seemingly tolerant space. Then the questions began.

Now the questions ranged from the typical crap, to some quite interesting though long winded questions. It wasn’t the questions themselves that bothered me.

What got me, was what people applauded at. They applauded things like “how will we create an army without an Islamic state”. People quoted fitna! So basically, for the first time, my emotions at a forum were based on what my fellow Malaysians sitting next to me were thinking and feeling rather than the speakers. The enthusiasm at things I was hardly enthusiastic at, and the disdain of things I passionately felt for were contradictions I was not used to feeling at these forums. Having said that, everything about this forum, except for the presence of Malik Imtiaz, was different about the peri-election forums that I attended.

It made me feel cold, and it made me feel sad.

It made me feel like the thought of an Islamic state is scary. And that has nothing to do with Islam. I feel comfortable with Islam, and I trust Islam.

Trust is an arbitrary thing. Personally, trust is something in my heart. It has nothing to do with practicality. There are certain people in the political scene, that I greatly admire, but that are few and far between that I trust. Is that a good thing, Im not sure. But its me. I trust Sivarasa, and I now trust Dr Dzulkz. I feel I lost something at this forum, and that was trust in my fellow Malaysian.

And that is the hardest thing to lose. I felt shaky, after the forum (we had to go and have a stiff drink after). This land, this country is the only thing in the world I know is mine. Truly mine. And I know I belong to this country and to no other. And that has held me strong for most of my years.

If I can not trust my fellow Malaysian, I can not trust Malaysia. If I can not trust my own home, my feet have nowhere to land and my heart nowhere to rest.

It'll happen

It’ll happen

I know it will
Its in my heart, its wedged between the orifices of my soul
Like it always has been

It’ll happen

The tears, the laughter, the fight and the love
Will in the end give way
Like it always has

It’ll happen

The success, the fighters, the struggle and the sacrifice
Will soon be forgotten
Like we always do